It’s Mother’s Day, again. All I can think about is how much I miss my mom. I mean, I always miss her, but today, I miss her so much it physically hurts. My mom passed away on September 2, 2014. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she’s been gone almost three years. I can recall the day as if it happened just yesterday.
The other thing about Mother’s Day? Thanks to circumstances beyond my control, I was never able to have children. I never got to experience the feeling of the baby growing, moving, kicking. Then again, I never had to experience the pain of birth. I never got to have that first contact, skin-to-skin, with the child I carried for nine months. I didn’t get all the “firsts”.
I helped my niece bring her daughter into the world and helped her for the first year of her life but I wasn’t the mom. Which was an advantage when the baby made a boom-boom. “Here. She stinks.”
The one saving grace, I have the privilege of helping my husband raise his three daughters: Courtney, and twins: Kaitlynn and Bethany. Now, I realize I am not their biological mother; nor did I ever tell them that I was trying to replace their mom. She’s still in the picture. I’m the “bonus” mom.
Courtney will be 23 in just a few weeks. She graduated high school and moved to Pennsylvania to go to school. Katie and Bethany will be 17 in October and will graduate from high school this time next year. I have enjoyed almost every minute of it. LOL.
Yes, there have been challenges and hiccups along the way. It’s a learning process. I have made mistakes. I admit it. No human is perfect. Are there times when I wish that they were biologically mine? You bet. I wouldn’t have to watch them leave every other week. I wouldn’t be excluded from their lives two weeks out of the month. But, to be honest, being a full-time parent can be exhausting. As sad as I am to see them leave, I also like having “me” time during our off-weeks. It helps me re-charge my batteries. And I think it helps me be a better bonus mom. I don’t know how full-time parents manage it!!! Seriously. I’m in awe! More power to all of you!
I also acknowledge, I am a fur baby mama. I have four (yes, four) dogs. All little, I assure you. I love them with all my heart. They always greet me when I come home. They are happy to see me. They cuddle me all night and keep me warm. This year, we had to say good-bye to one of my fur babies, Niki. She was poisoned, either by someone, or by eating something that was poisoned. We don’t know for sure. It hurt to say good-bye and I miss her too.
So to all you moms: bio, step or fur, I pray that you have had a wonderful, relaxing day. God bless. (All opinions are my own.)
Cera Fallon, Author 